Who Killed More People?

Hiram Maxim, the inventor of the machine gun?
Or Colonel Harlan Sanders?

I'm just asking..

The Organizational Advantages of Stupidity

Let’s face it; stupidity is not only relative but it’s a dangerous subject to discuss.

Political correctness dictates that pointing out the intellectual deficiencies of others is not cool but arrogant – and yes, discussing stupidly is usually a self-defeating stupidity in itself. But I assume I may avoid some condemnation and hostility if I quickly include myself in the category of the spineless and the intellectually lazy and dimwitted. So let me emphasize I speak here not from arrogance but from chagrin.

May we proceed?

All systems, religions and mass movements depend to a great deal on the stupidity of those who are to be organized and led. Naturally one element of this repeated focus on the unreflective, is motivated by the organizers’ joyful contempt for the intellectually lazy. But this understandable contempt is in no way the sole or even major reason for the eager concentration on the manipulation of the intellectually lazy. In fact, the “stupid” are a boon to organizers for several reasons, the primary of them being the cattle-like herd mentality of a major part of the population. The dumb or the ignorant are more easily manipulated, and often times they can be more quickly protected by benevolent organizers who scare and/or lie to them. After all, people who are set to march in lock step, rarely step on each others’ toes - while the more intellectually curious and independent members of society usually move stubbornly and suspiciously in different directions, usually at cross purposes, and often to little positive effect.

Religions in particular deliberately rely on the most illogical of superstitions, the underlying idea being that everyone can understand a dumb idea or be enchanted by a colorful fairy story – but only the intelligent minority can fathom an intelligent idea. Indeed many will point out that America’s great economic and lasting political success is a result of two simple and truly democratic factors: advertisers and the mass media’s skill at dumbing down and reaching the lowest common denominator – as well as religion’s show business-like appeal to the naive citizenry. For example, if our organizers can convince us to (pretend to?) believe in a superman who walked on water, turned water into wine, raised the dead and so on, our organizers are assured they can convince us of anything.

The dissemination of ludicrous beliefs serves many purposes for organizers. For example, should the brave individual ignore peer pressure and stand up and say, “Nope, sorry. This Adam & Eve, Jonah & the Whale, Jesus escaping from the tomb are no more true than the tooth fairy,” the individual will be quickly spotted and weeded out – and in America such a self-exposed unbeliever would never be able to win a major public office. Mike Huckabee’s denial of evolution was no disqualifier for the highest office in the land, but my disbelief in virgin birth or that the earth is a mere 5,000 years old makes me immediately disqualified! Astoundingly we modern Americans still require our leaders take part in our general primitive superstition-based belief system and they are further required by us to debase themselves in our common self-humiliation. Our leaders must resemble us even in our idiocy.

America, of course, is not the only country or society ruled by the iron hand of lock-step superstition. The entire Moslem world adheres to a doctrine whose very name mean submission. But submission to what? Of course the Koran contains elements of sin-not-and-love-your-brother, as do all other religions. But Islam, like all other religions, contains anti-logical and often hateful dogmas that humiliate instead of merely humble anyone who professes to believe in them. One need not dwell on the martyr’s reward of 72 virgins nor the entré into heaven on a flying horse to further prove the point.

However, one thing to always keep in mind when examining Islam, Christianity or even Communism, is to try to determine what daily life was like in these places before these religions and philosophies were developed. Generally speaking there is plenty of evidence that daily life was even worse. Much worse. The degree of murder, human sacrifice and brutal exploitation was so much greater before these ameliorating religions and political systems were invented. Sacrificing goats instead of people fortunately came to be regarded as a great step up the evolving spiritual ladder. There is method in our madness. Why do many Moslem countries continue to cut off the right hand of thieves? Because for thousands of years there was no effective capitalism and bureaucracy that could raise taxes to build and maintain enough prisons. Penalties for crime had to be swift and cheap – and free food and lodging for miscreants was not an option. Nor were mug shots of thieves on post office walls possible, so the missing hand was the kindly authorities’ warning to citizens to beware the transgressor.

One has to wonder why America, the “free-est” nation in the world has by far the highest number of citizens in prison in proportion to the population. No other country comes close, not poverty ravaged countries or environmentally devastated lands. And when it comes to murder and violent crimes America again leads the world. Why? Because our very freedom lends itself to greater abuse? Perhaps. But even the most biased patriot would have to admit that most nations in Europe and other parts of the world such as Australia and New Zealand, Costa Rica, Japan and more – all have great degrees of personal and political freedom that nearly equal or even surpass that of Americans. Yet their societies see only a miniscule fraction of violent crime. Why the difference? Perhaps as is often pointed out, America is still a young exuberant country. We’re all teenagers at heart, puerile youths who refuse to grow up, juvenile delinquents who excel at throwing destructive temper tantrums? Sure we’re generally good-hearted teenagers. We love gadgets and toys, monster trucks and Macey parade floats. But too many of us are poisoned by the macho gun totting John Wayne myths of the old west and back when a man was a man. For example, conflicts in movies rarely end in reconciliation and we seem only to be satisfied by gunplay or fisticuffs (..fisticuffs! Isn’t that such a delightfully old-fashioned word? Like doilies or spats!) Sadly today it’s not uncommon to see a TV fight end in decapitation or disembowelment! And you will have noticed that villains in movies are never carted off to long years of incarceration much less rehabilitation. Nay, the bad guys are always killed in the most painful and gruesome way possible. Our civilized sense of justice demands it. How privileged we are. Each of us has an electronic Roman Coliseum in our living room with gladiators entertaining us with their deaths each evening!

Fortunately officially sanctioned political violence ebbs and flows somewhat. The last fifty years of American foreign policy have seen fluctuating popular opinion. Usually 15 or so years after a disastrous American intervention such as the Viet Nam war, a new generation of young and ignorant lunkheads, believing war to be much like the joyous antics of rival high school football teams, allows itself to be riled up and energized by propaganda and distortion, by unctuous praise of how brave and noble it is, and it finds itself shipped off to sacrifice life and limb until sobering reality sets in, and we wait 15 or 20 more years for revulsion and memory to wear off and our fearless leaders can begin again to find a new horror to involve us in.

Some might cynically suggest that the only way to delay, minimize or prevent wars or mass murder is to combat the stupidity with counter stupidity. Ronald Reagan once famously remarked that if the nations of the earth suddenly were confronted by a hostile invasion from space we would all quickly unite for once. One can almost picture his imagining of how big and elaborate the sets would have to be in order to fool the public into believing such a uniting invasion has begun!
Yes, a common uniting idea would be welcome. And a uniting idea based on logic and grown-up maturity would be even better. But it doesn’t look like any such ideas are gaining favor. Al Gore may have gained a great deal of temporary attention pointing to our disastrous environmental habits, but no one is going to give up consumerism until there is nothing left to consume. Certainly not China and India. And Americans behave sensibly? Pull the other one.

Everyone needs to belong to some group, some family, some gathering where one feels welcome and appreciated. And if one can find no other welcoming group, one can always find a church of snake handlers, a coven of white robed racists, an underground cell of bomb-building martyrs, or a gated community of the heartless and scornful rich that will welcome one to the group as a loyal member. The lonely, the homely, the intellectually anemic can always find a home, for there will always be organizers ready and willing to exploit our longing for respect and for a safe haven. And these good shepherds, whether they be Tony Robbins, Dr. Phil, Osama Bin Laden, Donald Rumsfeld, Jerry Falwell or Jerry Springer, will always concoct new and endlessly entertaining fantasies for us to numb our fears with so that we can bask in our common self-sacrificing humiliation.

Does it take an apostle of doom to predict that in about 30 years the world will see roaming bands of vigilantes, avenging gangs burning, looting and murdering in their search for scapegoats, for the guilty to blame for our growing economic chaos and environmental ragnarok? Who will be blamed next time? The Jews, the capitalists, the environmentalists, the intellectuals, the Liberals, the Moslems, or us Atheists?
Better have your gun cocked and ready. And consider joining a group. There are plenty of them who want you.

Music Maker Faces the Music

Phil Spector has always struck me and others as the ultimate spoiled brat - rich, famous, manipulative and vengeful from his teens.

But I have a private theory. I think his fondness for threatening hundreds of people with guns comes from the fact that as a child he may have desired one of those gag guns that a flag pops out of saying BANG!

If only his parents had bought him such a harmless toy none of the following would have happened. The poor guy has just always longed to see the same expression on people’s faces they would have exhibited if the BANG flag was suddenly produced by the jolly producer. Sadly real guns are easier to get hold of than ancient gag guns.

I tried, Ladies.. I honestly tried

I saw a music show hosted by Elvis Costello a few nights ago and Elton John was his guest. Elton praised among others as influences on him Leon Russell and Laura Nyro. He was particularly vocal about Laura's genius.. and as I had never been a fan back in the day I decided to download one of her albums and give her a renewed listen.

Genius, yes.. but I just can't take it.. or rather my ears can't take it.

I have the highest regard for the talents and the humanity of Laura, Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez.. but that high pitch range is fit only for bats as far as I'm concerned. Kate Bush I liked but perhaps her melodies mitigated the screech?

You're supposed to lose the high register as you get older and I have.. but not enough to make Laura and Joni and Joan enjoyable for me.

Give me Annie Lennox, Chrissie Hynde and Nina Simone.

I-sores

..for more see:

http://www.dextervandango.com

Good Breeding

Being a city boy, I used to laugh at the strange attitudes of the stiff and stilted upper classes as portrayed in old English films. These snobbish and bloodless characters always seemed obsessed by good breeding and good stock. As if people were horses. And as an American raised in a monarch-free and class-less society (as I naively thought when younger), the concept that character is directly and perhaps solely dictated by genes, has been as foreign to me, and I dare say most of my fellow Americans, as Liz and Phil’s silly hats.
But farmers all over the world believe in the influence of genes. So do dog and cat breeders. So the question arises, if the offspring of animals can be imparted with certain qualities or deficiencies, according to whom their parents mixed genes with, why are human beings generally considered to be different?

The answer, of course, is we are quite obviously influenced. We’re just not allowed to talk about certain aspects of our genetic inheritance. While it’s politically correct to note that little Malaysians who mate with little Malaysians get more little Malaysians, it is far less politically correct to point out that enormously obese citizens from Manchester or Munich who breed with similarly obese individuals, are destined to get porkers for progeny. Humans, we must admit if we have any honesty, can breed ourselves fat, thin, short, tall, quick, slow, black, white, healthy, sickly.

The whole subject of breeding becomes especially and dangerously muddied when intelligence is brought into the discussion. Any mention of I.Q. tests and bell curves receives howls of protests from many quarters, making the entire subject a minefield. And those of us who brazenly use humor and sarcasm as a substitute for soberness and commitment, are particularly susceptible to outraged condemnation.

For example, if someone such as myself, should point out that the world’s population of Jews takes pride in its universal reputation for intelligence, but that that same intelligence is probably the result of 3,000 years of persecutors weeding out the less quick-witted of the tribe, this paradox (and paradoxes are, after all, the cornerstone of all Jewish humor) becomes glaringly obvious, - but in this case not at all amusing. It is, after all, a bit difficult to praise a group by saying, “You’re a smart bunch.. mainly because the dumber of you are no longer around to embarrass you.”

But perhaps this particular observation endows us with a useful definition for intelligence: heightened alertness. As Doctor Johnson pointed out, “the knowledge that one is about to be hanged has a tendency to concentrate the mind wonderfully.”
But having noted the beneficial result of persecution on the Jewish and other ethnic groups, we come face to face with this conundrum: If dumb ass accidents and wars tend to hit dumber people harder than the quick witted, why are we as a race, so relatively stupid?

Put another way, if we assume the average I.Q. of the cro magnon living 30,000 years ago was that of a Jerry Springer fan today, why hasn’t time and misfortune weeded out the dumber, so that we enjoy an average intelligence today of 300 or 3,000.. instead of the measly 110, or whatever the current average is judged to be? Why ain’t we smarter?

Perhaps we ain’t smarter because there is some sort of self-regulation mechanism in effect. Perhaps nature tends to weed out the smart asses, too. As the Chinese note, it is the nail that sticks up that gets hammered down. And in fact, when it comes to people, we can actually see this craving to be hammered down evidenced by comedians (need I note the high proportion of the descendants of Abraham here?) who loudly and annoyingly demand attention so that they can display their awesome wit for all the world to see. And when a comedian fails to impress and he admits his defeat, he notes, “I died.”

..and so the rest of us must go back for another fishing expedition at the gene pool to find our wits.

Forgive Me For Whimpering So Loudly

“How are you?” is perhaps the most common sentence we humans utter, although I understand that the equivalent in China is, “Have you eaten today?” Be that as it may, whether we enquire as to each other’s health or stomach contents as a salutation, we are only being polite. We don’t really want to know. “How am I? I’ll tell you how I am!” is the exact opposite of what we really want to hear.

And yet as I fast approach the age of sixty, I am made more and more aware of something, a natural phenomenon that may well have been with us since the beginning of our time on this planet. On the other hand perhaps it’s just my own age, diminishing hormonal levels, hemorrhaging savings and the growing sense of dread and pessimism as world financial institutions collapse that makes me currently sensitive and aware of this something – this invisible choir, this silent whimpering on the part of many of my friends and the people of approximately my age.

This silent whimpering is just that. No one is yet voicing their personal unease out loud. No one wants to be known for their sudden and uncharacteristic lamenting and gnashing of teeth. No one wants to be thought of as a whiner. No one wants to be thought of as vulnerable and thus pathetic. No one wants to be pitied.
Well, damn it – I do!

I want and need sympathy and I’ll bet most of you reading this do, too – at least on some level.

Remember the story of the Grasshopper and the Ant? I think it may have been an Aesop’s fable. Anyway, the first time I ever came across this story of the frolicking and carefree grasshopper who preferred to dance and play while mocking the ants for their ceaseless hard work – it was in a Hollywood cartoon made for children. And naturally the cartoon had a syrupy Hollywood ending. The ants took pity on the grasshopper and let him stay in their colony and fed him warm and bracing soup all through the harsh winter. (Aesop was merely content to let him starve and freeze to death, as nature herself always will.)

It occurred to me some time ago that I am a grasshopper. And I’m not alone. I would need ten hands and their fingers to count the number of friends and acquaintances who currently stumble around in a state of shock, wondering what in the hell happened. Hey, wasn’t I supposed to have been a guitar hero? A cultural icon? At the very least the conscience of my generation? What happened to success???
(And don’t tell me there are many ways to measure success. Hitler and Mussolini got their girlfriends to commit suicide with them. I can’t even get a woman to go bowling with me! “I’m not putting my feet in those shoes.. eeeck!” Yeah, that’s what a he-man wants to listen to time and again from the overfilled tube-topped tyrant in chartreuse toenail polish who rations out listless sex like the sullen gas station attendant relinquishing the key to the restroom.)

But back to the point: We members of, or of near the Woodstock Generation, whether we were actual hippies or even conservative hardworking schlubs, are now turning ashen and jittery. Is the end near, we wonder? And does it have to be so dismal and humiliating an end? Did we miss something? When did we thrive?
Okay. Sure. We frolicked briefly. Intermittingly. In short spurts. Like the furtive and clumsy sexual encounters that were par for the course. We had some nice vacations. Our mantles are covered with plastic and balsa bric-a-brac from Bali and Cabo San Lucas. Souvenirs as predictable and dreary as most of the vacations themselves. Sure, we had our fun. We skipped and gamboled and inhaled. We let our freak flags fly, however self-consciously. We also procreated, the results, most of us would admit only to ourselves, being somewhat less than optimal. At least in the gratitude department.

Yeah, I know. Our kids are karma’s revenge for the way we treated our own parents. But didn’t we consciously endeavor to avoid the sins, superstitions and prejudices of our parents? Didn’t we strive to make sure our kids grew up in a racially, religiously and sexually prejudiced-free home? Didn’t we? So why then, in Buddha’s name did they turn into such snotty little bastards anyway?? (Luckily revenge is at hand. Spoil and forever ruin your children’s children with indiscriminate materialism. And if your own children have been particularly nasty and ungrateful, give their kids a set of drums.)

But again, back to the current malaise. As I and many of my friends approach our sixties and our once happy world seems about to sink into a cesspool of pollution, unexpected poverty and panic, will we predictably tackle the next decade of misery? Will we keep our trembling mouths shut, our stiff upper lips clamped shut for fear of ostracism? Or will some generous and enlightened leader inspire us with a new path?

The new path: Bitch, moan and complain. It’s good exercise. When it takes you ten minutes to get out of bean bag chair you’re not going to be going for any jogs on a regular basis, no matter how solemnly you increasingly infrequently promise you’re going to begin “after the holidays.”

Give up your illusions. Illusions of success, of beauty, of popularity. Of sexual prowess and the resulting gratitude.

Yes, I know. Churchill cautioned us to “Never, never give up.” But Hitler, too, never gave up. And look where it got him.

Homer Simpson, a wiser man, pointed out, “Children, you have tried and failed. The lesson is: never try.”

At the moment the only luxury left to us curmudgeons on the cusp of codgerdom is the pleasure of bitching, moaning and complaining. And a half hour of grumbling will burn off more calories than a half hour of sex – at least at our age.